I would be freezing on a snow-covered mountain!

Two nights ago I watched the third episode of The Twilight Saga. Of the three, this one, Eclipse, was my favorite because it detailed how the members of the vampire clan and werewolf clan became vampires and werewolves. I gave it four stars out of five. It was the first of the three that didn't bore me.

I know. Why would I continue watching a saga after the first two boring episodes? Well...because it's a romantic saga filled with vampires. And two, I am a sucker for romantic endings.

If a romantic saga had been written about zombies, I'd probably watch it, too. Although, zombie romance just might be deliriously maddening.

I digress. Back to the point of the movie that has made me laugh for two days. If you haven't seen the movie, then...leave.

Characters: Bella, human; Jacob, werewolf-teen; Edward, vampire.

Setting: A snow-covered mountain in the middle of a nowhere forest in the state of Washington.

Reason: To protect Bella from the ruthless and powerful red-headed vampire seeking revenge for the death of her vampire mate in the last episode.

Alliance: The werewolf clan and vampire clan have an alliance in order to keep Bella alive, as well as to stop the serial killings which are being committed by the newborn vampire clan.

Newborn Vampires: Vampires which have recently become vampires.

Laughable Scene #1:
Inside an ultra-thin tent, Bella, fully clothed and wearing a jacket uncontrollably shivers inside her sleeping bag. Jacob, the werewolf-teen, is shirtless. Edward, dead and cold-bodied, doesn't feel the cold. Jacob offers his warm body for Bella to press up against, while Edward looks on.

Laughable Scene #2:
In the morning, Bella, fully clothed and wearing a hoodie to keep her warm as she runs to and from werewolf-teen and the vampire trying to sort her feelings for both. Jacob is still shirtless, and Edward, well, he's still Edward, and the mountain is still covered with snow. The sun, not hot enough to melt the snow, is shining.

Why wasn't Jacob shivering in the cold? Why wasn't Bella freezing the next morning with just her hoodie? Why is Edward still Edward?

So, since, I've written out the post, it doesn't seem so funny anymore. I've answered my question of why Jacob was shirtless. Well...because he's a hot-blooded werewolf who could engage in battle in a moment's notice. Bella wasn't shivering the next morning because it was the director's judgement to not cover up hotness with a bulky coat. Why is Edward still Edward? It was a balancing question. I didn't really have a question about Edward and I don't really have an answer. Ho hum.

But still...I know, I've stopped laughing. I guess writing it down on a computer does bring the bits together.

Next Blog Post: Can Vampires Really Have Sex!? Now, there's a question I'd like to ask Edward.